Self-preservation is crucial for self care. At its most primitive level, it is what makes a person escape from extreme danger or how the body will feed on itself in time of famine. At an emotional level, it is the idea that you would set up guards and barriers to ensure you are not depleted, as a person. Here you will walk the line and possibly teeter on selfishness, so be aware of taking things too far. The goal here is to be able to acknowledge your feelings and communicate your needs to others. Come fly with me!
1. Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries is one of those concepts that is easier said than done. We all have situations and relationships in our lives that push us past our comfort level. There are times where it is not clear if we can take on more or if we have reached our breaking point. Start by paying attention to how you feel. If a certain person, a request, or even a recurring situation makes you uncomfortable, sit with that feeling for a bit and determine if this is an issue that needs to be addressed. Be assertive and speak up! It is perfectly healthy to set boundaries for yourself, even if it makes others uncomfortable.
2. Create a New Budget: Usually, when we think about a budget, we think about our finances. For our purposes, I’m talking about budgeting your time. I mentioned this in a previous post: free time does not equate to available time. Listen to your body, your mind, and spirit. Learn to allocate down time in between personal and business commitments. Build in time for traffic, eating, and even a little extra time for grooming. Commit to prioritizing your time in a way that includes dead space. Every minute of your day does not need to be accounted for. Avoid running yourself completely low by actively budgeting your time.
3. Reserve it for Who Deserves it: When I love, I love deep. I’m jumping in head first, no floaties. If I call you friend, then baby I will go to war for you. We are in this for the long haul, you hear me?! But in order for me to be the type of friend that I want to be, I have to reserve it for who deserves it. I can only be “Glenna the Great” for a select number of people before I spread myself too thin. It doesn’t make me a bad person if I have to reserve certain privileges for certain people. It actually makes me a more efficient friend. You dilute your worth and value by trying to be all things to all people. You don’t become more loved or the favorite friend by showing up to every single event with a bottle of wine (or whatever your favorite bottle is…). You become known as a people pleaser. Reserve your best for who deserves it. This will vary for each person. For some people, supporting one friend per weekend is their max. For others, they can attend 5 events, work two shifts at their job, and still be okay {insert my big sister}. Whatever your limit is, set it. Know how much of yourself you can offer up without compromising your overall wellness.
Keep in mind that self-preservation is a healthy way of safeguarding yourself from others. It is your responsibility to set limits, so don’t look for others to read your mind and do it for you. Remember: set healthy boundaries, budget your time, and reserve it for who deserves it.
